Yes, from Joanne's "surprise" party. And a lot of other things as well. Finally, I get to post a new entry. And I am now trying to cram everything I want to say into a few lines. But I always have that tendency to talk a lot don't I.

Anyway, I really am not happy with my life right now. No, nothing THAT serious, but it might as well be. I am now trying to shape my life into a contour still trapped in my friggin' head. I really want to do a lot, and I just hope I don't break under the pressure, what with being a pre-med student and all. But I'm still not there yet. I have yet to take this life-rearranging project off the ground, but actually living an idea is a daunting task. Shucks this is so vague.

A lot of things have already happened, and not for the better, I'm afraid. A lot pisses mo off now. But people don't know that. I'm always "happy." I'm there when someone needs help. But I can't even take care of myself! Sure, it's nice to see all of my friends pick up from where they left off, being content or even happy. But what about me. I can't help but feel that I'm being left behind in a burning building after I pushed everyone out of a fire exit. And what a metaphor. Ew.

It's my lunch buddy's birthday today, so I don't even want to taint this very beautiful day for her. But somehow, I feel the need to get this out. I may not even be including much details, but admitting that I have a problem is enough, I think. And I honestly think that no one can help me. None but me.

I'm back, but I suddenly feel very alone. Sh*t.