Where are you, Whammos?

Clearly, I have been watching to much TV.

I hate that new Coke TV ad. It's utterly depressing. So for those who do not watch Philippine television, here's how it goes:

A little girl is ecstatic because her dad comes over. Presumably the little girl will be with the dad for a whole day. Then while the dad waits for the little girl to get ready, he gets invited by the mom to stay for lunch. Well I think it was lunch because the sun was up and they could not possibly be having breakfast because there was Coke involved and they can't drink Coke for breakfast. So in the spirit of Christmas the girl enjoys the company of both her parents sharing the same table with her. So there.

Yes, there was the hello-it's-Christmas-let's-be-civil-and-lunch-with-Coke factor, but I can't help abhor the premise that the whole situation was under. They're separated/annulled? Clearly they can't be divorced because that thing does not exist for Filipino citizens. But hello, visitation rights? I would hate to be that girl.

This is the Philippines and family is what we're all about! Sure, we have problems but we always compromise. And I guess there's this new thing that when you're not happy you could leave the relationship even if there are children involved, but I'm not saying I agree with it. I guess I'm still too idealistic despite the harshness of the life I'm living right now, but I don't think I'll be giving it up anytime soon. Or ever. Gosh this is so depressing.

And I just bit my tongue. So is my situation any different? Is a four-year period enough to acquit me of all the stuff I've mentioned. Clearly, I have got to talk to someone.

uTorrent has now completely gone berserk on me. And I don't know what to do. Damm*t.

I give freakin' up. I never had much of a chance, anyway. And there was no fighting involved. None at all.

Vanessa go to hell!

Ruchaligra people do, uh huh.

I always wished for a perfect person. No, not perfect in the conventional sense, but more like in the Patrick sense (nope, I do not imply that I am perfect). Somehow, I think life would be much easier (albeit enjoyable) when you get to pick people-bits you like from a buffet table, chuck them inside a huge pot, add water and leave it to stew. Then presto magic! Perfect, just the way you like it. Kind of like making your own coffee at Starbucks, choosing this and that, but more grandiose.

But life simply doesn't work that way. And besides, I wouldn't know what to mix and match. I can't even decide on what to eat for dinner. But I do have ideas on what would be good based on the few people I encounter everyday, give or take the few people that I don't, but still love and miss anyway.

And why so melancholic, Pat? It's just that I've been thinking lately (and eat and sleep and read and eat), and I've come to the conclusion that I still am attached to this person who has been a part of my life ever since I joined a cult of snobbish little kiddies I've come to love dearly.

We were so young then, wide-eyed and immortal, the rights of children. And you've been with me from the very beginning. And now that we are tattered at the edges, you are still with me. I know that now. But with this are the questions: How would we now be had things been different? How would we now be had we not jumped together? How would we now be had we been seasoned before... all those things happened?

I guess that these questions will remain as they are. But after connecting the dots, I can't help but dread the thought that our sufferings are borne out of innocence. Had we not clung tenaciously to each other, things might have been different. Better, somehow. We've been stuck with each other for so long, grown with each other, that once that bond broke, we scarcely knew what to do without the other.

I wish I could talk to you. Just for the sheer pleasure of it. I miss that the most. Funny how things become a trifle clear when you are aloft amongst the clouds, even if in the confines of a pressurized fuselage. And I now know with frightening certainty that we will never be with each other. But I do hope that you come to accept this someday and close the tedious chapter of your life that is 'Mr. Quezon.'

I wish we could talk. And catch up and laugh at all our silliness. But maybe we're not there yet. We're not at the presto magic stage. We're still busy licking our wounds. And no, I think I have not yet moved on. Because moving on does not entail revisiting the past with such clarity it's scary.

Or maybe I have and it's just the idea of you that I miss. The idea of the emotional dumpster that we both are for each other. One thing is clear though--I have to talk to you. Someday.

And I get to have the terrible version of them. And I don't want to go to school yet. :(

Good morning Upper East Siders. So I'm liking the series. Big deal? Haha.

Blair: (watching the burlesque dancers) You know, I got moves.
Chuck: Really? Then why don't you get up there?
Blair: (laughs) I'm just saying I have moves.
Chuck: Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls.
Blair: I know what you're doing, Bass. (after a beat) You really don't think I'd go up there.
Chuck: I know you won't do it.
Blair: (considers it then gets up from her seat) Guard my drink.

***

OR!

Serena: Wait.
Dan: What? What? Did I do something wrong?
Serena: No.
Dan: I knew the hair thing was too much.
Serena: No, actually, um...
Dan: Um? Um is never good. What?
Serena: (voice breaking) I, I'm scared.
Dan: Of me?
Serena: No! Well, yes. But, it's just...I've never...
Dan: You've never? You're not a...
Serena: No. No, I wish. It's just...nobody's ever looked at me the way you just did. In fact, I don't think they looked at me at all. (covers her face with her hand) You think I'm crazy, don't you?
Dan: No. No, I don't.
Serena: Are you mad?
Dan: (smiles) Come here.

***

Rufus + Lily = ♥

So this day turned out ______. I'm really worried about this strike thing the WGA is doing. If this goes on there will be a lot of unhappy people. Just when Heroes is getting better, too. I got my first real OMG Moment from ep 7 a while ago! Go Heroes! So I take it that the Cellular Regeneration people are quite immortal?

Just when I thought I could be away from you for 3-ish weeks, your name pops up every friggin' where.

Oh no. I am starting to like the Izzie-George thing. But it's so wrong in so many ways. :(

For the past n days I have been nocturnal. And it's not weird at all.

And this blog is so alien to me right now. Each time I visit it from the outside (not logging in, duh) I stop for a moment and think "Ah yes, I did change the skin."

So it's nice that my mom finally allowed the house to be connected to the Blue Nowhere (prolly due to my dad's insistence). All I do for the whole week is wait for the appropriate days and download shows to watch. Unfortunately though, I still haven't gotten around to finishing PB's season 2. AND! I'm just halfway through my reading list, what with all the sleeping I've been doing. That and eating. Unfortunately number 2, Heroes has been a bore. Last season, I remember moving from one episode to another with such haste, even dashing to the nearest Starbucks just to keep awake during wee hours of the day. Now, I don't even feel the pace of the story. Oh well. Episodes 7-11 better be better...

And Cheno lights up Pushing Daisies. Oh yeah, Emerson Cod, too.

Strangely, right now (now meaning me posting this), wala pa ring Grey's Anatomy. And it was just 2 weeks ago that I realized that Lexi's the girl from Not Another Teen Movie! Wee-ard. George is still my favorite character. Despite the Izzie Mishap. *cough Izzie go to hell cough*

Finally, I got a copy of the book I've been haunting in the Med library. It's fun learning about the Jews. I wish I could speak Yiddish. :D

And because of my being nocturnal (and some other reason too intimate to post), I haven't been able to drive. Not even turning the engine on. :'( And for the same reason, I spent my November 1 standing half asleep at the side of some relative I never knew.

And now I will admit. My iPod is full of songs that I don't like. It even has a lot of songs I've never even listened to. Cleaning up my library is just such a tedious task. Oh well. One week of vacation time to go and my hair is still long. Gah.

This post is hodge-podge.